Category: Blog


Well, frak.

It’s never ending. The hospital dad is at for his stroke rehab called me again this morning, because he’s being difficult, uncooperative and even more grumpy than usual, again. He doesn’t want to do the rehab, doesn’t want to do the work, doesn’t want to help himself. All he wants to do is lay in bed and have the nursing staff help him with everything.

Today, he yelled at me again because sitting in a chair for 5 minutes was bothering him and he wanted to lay down. I reminded him that he can’t lay down his whole life, and that he needs to teach himself a way that he can sit in a chair, or stand up that doesn’t bother him. More yelling. When he finished that, he asked me to come help him, again.

I can’t.

I am beyond burnt out after spending 3 months in my old home town looking after him and our family. I’m broke after not being able to work much during that time; AND, the icing on this caca-cake, I’m still dealing with whiplash and concussion symptoms from the car crash. I asked him, what does he expect me to do if I came out there? He said I could help him, I could push him to recover.

Frak.

I’ve told him, he needs to push himself. I can’t be there all the time. He needs to do this for himself, and he won’t. The staff at his hospital have been incredible; patient beyond belief with him. They explained to me that he’s dealing with a brain injury because of how his stroke affected him, and that this isn’t necessarily him right now. Knowing that made it a bit easier to process, but also a bit harder for me, too.

I’m going to try working out again today. Not going to push myself, but I need to move some iron – even if it’s only an iron feather. Ordinarily, if I need to de-stress or think, my go-to is working out, driving, or talking with my dad. None of those are an option right now.

The rest of today will be better. I’ll make it happen.

Slowly.

It’s been a hard time lately. From dad’s stroke to the car crash to other personal struggles and this damned concussion that won’t leave me alone; it’s been a challenge to get out of bed some days.

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In which he never went home again

I grew up in a small town and, for as long as I can remember, I always wanted to leave it and live in a big city. As a kid I had no idea what that meant other than bright lights and places actually open on a Sunday… but I liked the picture of it in my head. View full article »

Crashed

I hurt, I hurt…” – These are words spoken by my grandma that are probably going to haunt me the rest of my life. View full article »

So that’s what that feels like…

I’ve probably said “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck” a hundred times in my life.. and now I know what it actually feels like.

It hurts. Do not recommend. RIP the MollyMobile.

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