it’s been a while since the sun came up
i know i should be movin or be doin stuff
but like last night i’ll stay here awake
keep killing time until goodness’ sake
and if you’re right and when i’m wrong
you can say you knew it all along
cause imma lay here til i can go and get it
like how we make it just to wreck it
now if i stay above and pretend i’m alive
we have to do this with good inside
and so i’m calling
time for a visit with Auntie D
every time I’m down she brings cheer for me
she makes up the stories of all i can do
sometimes she helps me forget about you
yeah we ride in the sun in my broke down car
she’s riding shotgun life can’t be hard
and i live for my visit with Auntie D
wash down our smiles with budget beer
forget all the things we shouldn’t hear
i’ve been told now to trust my Auntie D
they’re saying things i can’t be bothering
i shut down quiet but they’re hollering
they say it’s not the way not how i used to be
they don’t know the fights n voices here inside of me
they can’t hear the ghost of who i was supposed to be
and i used to fight for good until it hurt
but win or lose all i made was worse
say i was the king i used to ride on top
i was waiting for that bottom drop
and if i fell if all that love would stop
now if i say the truth my happy rides away
and if i know it nothing’s gonna stay
we line up for our visit with Auntie D
when i’m down she brings cheer for me
makes up her stories of all i can do
helps me forget about me and you
riding together in my brokedown car
Auntie D beside me
and life can’t be hard
we crack a beer
wash our feelings back
life so serious
like a heart attack
Auntie D will keep
all the demons down
Auntie D the promise
in tomorrow’s shroud
and now i’m shaking trying to ease the pain
these pains were new but now they’re old again
forgive me tomorrow when all i need
is six feet of rope when i’m scared to bleed
and if i wrap this guilt around my neck
well maybe this was my only track
and i asked for help before this end
when Auntie D was my only friend
i asked for help but you wouldn’t see
my Auntie D, controlling me
went for a walk with Auntie D
told me to forget who i used to be
now i drink to the past
when my future’s last
now it’s that thing i don’t admit to
secret’s sworn you know i don’t do
come and visit say it’s good to see me
save your thanks for prescription Auntie D
– JT
1am, March 25, 2020
As always, I love and admire your abililty to paint pictures with words, your ability to use words that leave the reader with no other option but to live and feel the pain with you, alongside you. Please stay well my friend
The ghost of who I am supposed to be….found this profound and powerful